So a long chapter of my life has come to an end. Its been up, its been down. Its been amazing, and its been a nightmare. I am sad to see it end. But there's just no other way.
A friend.
A friend doesn't do the things she has done.
Through this whole time I wanted to believe she was the good person she claimed to be. I let her charm and lust for life blind me. But its always there. The reality of who she really is. Even if I were to forgive her for the past, I realize now I could never forget. Especially because she has not changed. She forces herself on to you. I don't even know if she realizes what she does. She drains you and uses you up until you have nothing left. She treats me like I am a child. I am stronger than she will ever be. She never understood and never will what I have been through in my life. And at a time I needed her most, she turned her back on me and betrayed me. All I can say is "What goes around, comes around." She dealt with a situation with friends that I listen to her go on and on about now. And thats all I could think of was that saying. (((Do you remember when that friend asked you to dinner? You told me you were too hurt and not ready to forgive for what she has done. You didn't reply to her message. Now you know what I was doing whenever you asked me to go out with you. I was not ready to put myself out there again. I did not want to be hurt like that again.))) I have tried to give her chances... and almost thought we could be friends again. But I will not let myself be hurt like again. I am a different person than I was then. I was weak and vulnerable due to everything that was going on. Now I am strong and independent. I don't need a fair weather friend. A friend who has time to vent and unload all of their problems on to you and can not return the favor. She is the epitome of the TOXIC FRIEND. I have been through the dark and came back to the light. I used to think I needed her vain compliments and reassurance. But I do not need that from anyone. I have proved to myself that I can get through these things. I have all the love I need in my life, the good kind, the unconditional kind. Not the kind of love when its convenient for you to love. Despite not having a perfect life, I love life and all that it has to offer. And accept that there are things I cannot change, and that things will happen, good and bad. And believe in myself that I can handle what life brings me. I am not perfect, and do not claim to be. I have many of my own flaws. But I know I deserve better than that.
If you see this, here is a message to you...
"I am sad that we cannot be friends. There is good in you. But you are consumed by trivial and harmful things. You are a very hurtful person. And I respect myself too much to be friends with you. I hope in time you will open your eyes. I do not wish bad on you. I wish you happiness in your life. I love you for the good in you. And I will treasure our good memories forever. Goodbye."
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