I don't even know what to say... I'm in such a funk... I feel like this happens every summer. Sometimes I think summer brings out the worst in me...
For the past few weeks, I feel like there has been a rain cloud over my head. I really really hate when this happens. It just seems like it is so hard to get along with everyone in my life. And all these upsets, disappointments and aggravations just build and build until I feel like I'm about to spaz!
I thought Seattle would be my chance to get away from everything and everyone, but it was a pretty miserable trip. Don't get me wrong... we had our highlights and fun times! But everything went wrong... from the rental car, to having to cancel parts of our trip, blisters, sunburn, flight delays, mean people and other things I won't mention. It was no vacation. And it absolutely wore me out. Both of us! We just wanted to be home!
But when we got home it was just more of the same... more fighting and aggravations.
Money is tight. The pressure from my parents on me getting a job and us finding a place to live is suffocating. Problems with Maggie getting fixed. Grrr! The list goes on and on...
And now I feel so stressed and blah and tense and defensive. My parents would say I have no reason to feel that way. But I am so easily overwhelmed these days. But its because its not one or two problems thrown at me sometimes... its either smooth sailing or stress overload! I've got nothing going on then all the sudden all these problems fall into my lap. I know I'm not the only one, but come on.
And to top it all off, the old friend that I thought I would hear no more of... kept trying to get in contact with me. I hadn't even thought of her since I wrote the blog. I should have just ignored her. But I sent her a message... cold and to the point. My intention was not to make her feel bad, but to let her know how I felt and that I did not want to be her friend. But she replied and blasted me. I knew she would, and I know her intention was to make me feel as horrible and small as she possibly could. I expected no less. Her biggest point was that I blamed her for everything when if she actually read what I wrote I said many things happened, but what happened with her was the most hurtful because she was supposed to be my best friend. I put my heart and soul in friendships and relationships, and she ripped it out. But now she is for sure out of my life, and it gives me relief. And after tonight, I will never think of her again. And oddly enough, despite her hurtful remarks, I am already feeling better.
What keeps me going... my amazing husband and Sam and Mags. I love them so much <3
I thank God for them everyday. I can't wait to move to our favorite place in the world :o)
Pete starts school soon! He seems so excited about it, and it makes me so happy for him! Maggie seems to be getting better each day which is good. And Sammy is just Sam lol.
The Wedding Celebration turned out awesome! Everyone had an amazing time! The cake was beautiful! Everyone loved the Wish Tree... and we got some good advice <3 Pete's Dad and Corey were there which was so nice. Corey stayed for a few days, and it was fun! It wasn't long enough though. He's a new little brother, and he's the best! The after party was so much fun! We went to Downies on South Street with Stevie, Ashley, Tom, Ant, Liz and Phil. Ant's got bad taste in friends, but I was in such a good mood and being all love everybody, ha ha! It was so much fun! I got everyone to sing karaoke for me including strangers! It was awesome!
So thats enough updating for now...
Its crazy how much better I am feeling. Maybe I just needed to vent. Anyways until next time... going to snuggle with hubby and kids <3 Excited to spend the next two days together!
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