Typical Situation

Its one of those nights when I just have no desire to sleep. I love these nights. Being awake while the rest of the world is dreaming. I'm thinking of a million things. How much I miss my brother. How much I love my husband. How everything falls into place. How everything happens all at once. Things I need to do. Things I am afraid of. Events of the summer. What my life will bring me. What my future looks like.

I got some new fishies today. I was so bummed when this past week one of the goldfish ate Gary, my snail and also Sucker, the Otocinclus :o( so we found a new home for the goldfish. We also lost Pumbaa. We have a bigger tank now so we got some more fish. We still have Jack Johnson, Kingston and Angel. We added now
Pongo~ a Dalmatian Molly, Night Fury a.k.a. Toothless~ a Black Molly, Plato~ a Pleco (algae eater type),
Minnie~ (My Mom's fish) an Asst Molly,
and Reds~ (My Dad's fish) a Neon Tetra. So we're happy :o) we still have some work to do on the tank to pretty it up so we'll be finishing that up tomorrow night!

I started a few paintings last week lol. I got bad news last weekend so that killed my creativity. I really hate when that happens. So I started a painting for my nephew, Brian, of bugs. I was going to pick three bugs and paint them in outrageous colors. Well my mind was all over the place. I didn't pick the right bugs... and didn't have the right paint colors to create the mood I was going for. So I stopped that painting lol. The next day, I was inspired to paint the DMB fire dancer... My idea was to have the fire dancer slightly to the side with the rings behind it and then a close up on the fire dancer's face. I, at first, didn't like it because I wasn't feeling like myself yet. But as I went on I was liking where it was headed. I wasn't able to finish that night and left it for the next day. The next day I was really inspired to do a Fountain piece! I don't know why lol... I guess because I was listening to the soundtrack. I wasn't liking where that was going at first, but now I am loving it! Every time I look at it I feel moved. I'm not finished it, but I plan on working on it tomorrow during the day :o)

These days whenever I look at a picture of Anthony I feel a pang in my chest. I miss him so much. Its just getting weird now. I don't like it. Friday night, I wrote him a six page letter lol. And yesterday, I wrote him a short story. I'm not sure if I should send it to him. It speaks of having pride in death. Anthony is just like me, the person who gets inspired by movies he sees and books he reads. I am afraid of what it will say to him. Hopefully I will get a sign on what I should do.